


So What do you Know About Crypto?

by iridescent_blue



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: ... Again, M/M, Youtuber AU, fluff! so much fluff, heavily referencing one jschlatt video, i did beta this! and edit it! tee hee, if u like jschlatt yeah youll like this baybee, its. its minecraft., just for laughs man, many many inside jokes about the dream smp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28422429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridescent_blue/pseuds/iridescent_blue
Summary: Andrew does crimes. In a video game, with friends. And makes a bunch of jokes.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 20
Kudos: 176





	So What do you Know About Crypto?

**Author's Note:**

> hi its been a hot minute  
> this was my secret santa gift for the discord server for julius!! candied-cream on tumblr he is lovely :)  
> he requested Minecraft incorporated into the fic so ofc i went with a youtuber we both like, jschlatt, and then added some more jokes :)  
> hope yall enjoy mwa

“I’m going to start an ICO,” Andrew says, walking down a path on the Minecraft server. “I’m going to walk up to Kevin and tell him “hey, put all your diamonds in this chest and I’ll give you my coin at the end,” and then one day I’m going to close down the shop and run far away with my riches. Go live in the woods somewhere where he can’t bother me.” He checks the chat, which is now spamming emotes that indicate he is a comedic  _ genius. _

He’s not. This shit shouldn’t be funny to anyone but him. He pulls a keyboard from the early nineties across his desk and starts fake-typing on it. “Crypto exit scam,” he says, pulling out every memory he has of the asshole who sat next to him in English 101 who couldn’t shut up about cryptocurrencies and stock trading.  _ Astrology for straight men _ is what Kevin calls economics. 

His computer dings. Neil has joined the call. “Whatcha doin?” He asks like he wasn’t in Andrew’s room fifteen minutes ago before he started streaming, running over the plans for today. 

“Crime,” Andrew responds. “Would you like to participate in an exit scam with me?”

“Yes,” Neil says, completely serious. “Are we scamming Kevin?”

“Him and others.” Andrew opens and closes chests at random as Neil logs on. “Come to my base. We have to make this look as sketchy and tasteless as possible. Bring your favorite blocks.”

Neil huffs. “I am  _ not _ tasteless.”

“You own jorts.” Andrew’s chat goes wild with fire emojis. He doesn’t get why. Neil  _ literally _ owns jorts. They’re disgusting. Tragically, his ass looks great in them. 

“Okay, fair. How do you feel about diorite?”

“Nothing but hatred,” Andrew says, completely monotone. He has sense, after all. 

“Cool,” Neil says, and Andrew sees that he’s joined the game. “So diorite and acacia to make our scam base?”

“Yeah,” Andrew says, picking up the materials Neil throws to him. For someone who never builds, he has a shit ton of stuff. He also negotiates building materials for armor from Matt and Dan, so he has full netherite despite doing absolutely no work and using iron tools to get all of his stuff. It makes him the perfect scam partner. 

“This looks… so bad,” Neil comments, once they’ve made a terrible little pile of wood and diorite with a hopper in the middle. It’s in the middle of a bridge. It is a horrible eyesore. Allison is going to hate it. Kevin is going to have an aneurysm. Andrew loves it. 

“That’s the point,” he says, noting that Neil’s started a stream of his own. Combined, they can bring in up to thirty thousand viewers depending on the day, and Andrew is unfairly proud of that fact. Sure, Kevin can speedrun and is a parkour  _ legend, _ but Andrew and Neil have clips on clips of them making the other members of the server cry laughing, analyses on their “characters” all over Twitter. “We want people to look at this and think  _ should I do this?” _ Andrew says, and pauses. “I have an idea,” he says. “Follow me.”

Under the bridge leads to a chest. Andrew puts a sign on the chest. “This is not a scam,” he says, labeling the chest  _ scam chest. _ He presses enter and listens to Neil’s sharp bark of laughter. Andrew walks back up to the hopper and starts placing signs. “Minyard-Josten crypto currency coin,” he says. “Deposit twenty diamonds and you will receive one…”

“Knife coin,” Neil takes over as Andrew writes, “When the coin is ready for you to have.”

“Neil,” Andrew says, looking his avatar up and down. “What the fuck does that mean.”

“Be gay do crime, I dunno,” Neil says, running off. “I’m gonna go fill Dan’s base with chickens, let me know when we have a customer.” Andrew grunts in confirmation. 

\---

About an hour later, Kevin logs on, talking to his stream. Andrew joins his call and pings Neil to  _ grab Matt it’s scam time. _ “Kevin,” he says, “how would you like to be the  _ very first _ investor in my new cryptocurrency that I am running with Neil.”

“Okay?” Kevin says, dubious. Andrew knows he’s laying it on thick, but it’s for a fucking bit. Kevin knows it’s a bit. Neil runs over, Matt in tow, and they join the channel. 

“Neil was telling me about this cryptocurrency you’re trying to get rolling,” Matt says. “It sounds super cool! How can I get in on this?”

“Okay,” Neil says, taking over. He’s the smooth talker of the two of them, anyway. “Basically, you put in 20 diamonds, and we give you one coin when the coin,” he pauses and sniffs in the way that Andrew  _ knows _ means he’s holding in a laugh, “when the coin is ready for you to have.”

Kevin turns to Andrew in-game. Even as an avatar composed of cubes, he pulls off the judgmental look. “How do I know the crypto isn’t going to collapse?” He asks. 

And this is where Andrew can pull the  _ I know more than you _ card. “You just have to trust me, this is how ICOs work, Kevin, have a little faith in your friendly neighborhood scam- uh, businessmen,” Andrew says quickly. He switches to his axe, enchanted and named  _ gun >:) _ by Neil. “Now put the diamonds in the fucking hopper.” He swaps back to an open hand. 

Kevin’s avatar nods slowly. “Okay, I just need some alone time to think about this deal,” he says, and walks off. Andrew turns to Matt, who’s punching the air in front of him.

“Okay,” Matt says, “so how many coins do I get for one hundred and twenty diamonds?”

Andrew whips his avatar around to face Neil and they both spam crouch for a second. Andrew privately messages Neil  _ he’s such a fucking dumbass _ and Neil writes  _ get his ass _ in return. The chat is currently having a spirited debate of the merits of telling Kevin versus not telling him. Andrew’s heavily leaning towards not telling Kevin, but he doesn’t control the chat. He clears his throat. “Well, per the exchange on the sign, you would get six coins.”

“Sick,” Matt says, “I’m in,” and throws two stacks of diamonds into the hopper. Unfortunately, Kevin, who has conveniently been crouching while he “thinks,” lets go of his shift key. He’s right next to the chest. The one labeled  _ scam chest. _

“Kevin,” Andrew warns, tone icy. “Don’t go down there.” Neil jumps down and  _ cackles. _ Andrew follows and sees Kevin’s avatar, stone-still, his avatar’s arms swinging idly, staring at the scam chest. He jumps and hits Kevin with his axe. The queen himself, too proud to wear armor when he’s just hanging out on the server, is down to one heart. Because Neil conned his way into a fucking  _ Sharpness V netherite axe. _ And then gave it to Andrew like a goddamn  _ engagement ring _ . “Walk away, Kevin,” Andrew commands, and he does. He hears Kevin’s chair roll back over the call, and then the theatrical crying that he likes to pull out when Andrew is mean to him in video games. It’s fine. Andrew will make dinner later and Kevin will scold him for stealing ice cream and they’ll leave the beef behind in the video game. It’s for content. They’re just playing characters. Inevitably, Twitter will get mad. They won’t address it. Not Andrew’s fault that thirteen-year-old girls can’t understand they’re just buddies fucking around. 

“Kevin, come here, we can make this deal behind closed doors if that makes you more comfortable.” Kevin nods. “Neil, build us a shack.”

The shack is just big enough to fit the two of them, and Neil blocks them in with dirt behind Andrew. “I’ve got you exactly where I want you,” he says, “now time to discuss this deal.” Kevin crouches, and Andrew gets a  _ fabulous _ idea. “Oh my god,” he says, “are you kissing me? Are you gay? Oh my  _ god, _ are you gay?” He asks, turning and digging himself out of their shack. He enables his shitty mic, the one that makes his voice loud and aggressive without even trying (the one Neil has dubbed as “the funny mic” and his viewers immediately grabbed on to), and starts to raise his voice. “Oh my  _ god, _ get the fuck away from me!” He yells, running off the bridge and into the river. He turns the mic off. “I’ve been scammed,” he laments, “I’m the one who got scammed, Neil come help me, I got fucking boofed, Kevin played me, this is a hate crime, I’m being oppressed,  _ Neil where are you.” _

Neil  _ wheezes, _ and Andrew realizes he’s made Neil do the thing where he pushes his chair away from his desk, curls into a ball, and  _ cries _ laughing. Andrew doesn’t get it. He’s not  _ that _ funny. “Neil,” he says, “I really need your support right now and you’re being incredibly unhelpful. This is not funny.” 

“It  _ is, _ though,” Neil says, his voice an octave higher than it normally is. 

“Neil,” Andrew warns, “If you don’t get over here I am going to die - wait, no, I can’t say that. I’m gonna get banned on Twitch dot T.V. if I say a gay person made me die.”

“Yeah you fucking will,” Kevin huffs and runs off.

He ends up depositing twenty diamonds in the hopper about twenty minutes later, and Andrew conveniently forgets to get him a gold nugget named  _ KnifeCoin. _

Which leads to Kevin following Andrew into his house. The perk of Neil  _ only _ caring about building is that their house is  _ nice. _ It’s got plenty of storage that doesn’t look ugly, and when Andrew turns his shaders on it looks  _ homey. _ Too bad Neil’s interior design knowledge is limited to a game that’s literally just glorified legos. Allison refuses to step foot in their room because it’s an “affront to decorating.” 

But Kevin is straight-up just getting in Andrew’s way, and he has his armor on, so Andrew can’t just kill him and be done. “Why the fuck are you following me,” he asks. He’s just trying to grab some materials to trap Aaron’s house, he doesn’t need Kevin in the way.

“I want my fucking coin,” Kevin says. “I gave you twenty diamonds, I want my goddamn coin.”

_ Took you long enough, _ Andrew thinks. His chat has been getting a little tired. “Kevin. Day. Mayday! A day in May. Buddy. I don’t know how to put this in a way that won’t deeply upset you, but it was an exit scam, and you just got played.”

Kevin looks Andrew up and down. “What?”

“Yeah,” Andrew says, schooling his face into neutrality. He doesn’t have a face cam, he probably never will, but Kevin can tell when he’s trying not to laugh. “The crypto was an absolute fraud, and you got boofed.” Andrew walks by Kevin’s avatar to another chest. “See ya later, Kevin.”

Neil, who was grabbing stuff from their basement storage and hanging out quietly on the call, comes up the ladder. “Yeah, Kevin,” he says. “Get out of our house.”

Andrew rounds on Neil. “ _ Our _ house? In the middle of the street? What, are you fucking  _ gay?” _ It’s a cheap trick to pull the same joke twice in one stream, but Neil contributes to about ninety percent of Andrew’s comedy. It’s a  _ motif. _ Andrew was an English major, before he dropped out, after all. 

Neil hits Andrew with a stick. “Andrew we have our beds next to each other. You built an entire castle just to put a rainbow flag in the windows and call it your  _ gay castle. _ What the fuck do you think?” Andrew can hear him holding in a laugh. 

“You’re dodging the question,” Andrew huffs. Neil laughs. 

“Wasn’t the whole goal of this to  _ be gay, do crime? _ ” He asks.

Andrew turns on the shitty mic. “Yeah,” he says, quietly.

“Can you two stop flirting? I’m right fucking here,” Kevin grumbles.

They turn on him and equip their axes. “Get the fuck out of our house,” Neil says. 

Kevin gets out of their house. 

\---

“Chat, Kevin is a fucking pissbaby,” Andrew mutters as he enters a call with Renee, Dan, Matt, Neil, and Kevin. He took it to fucking  _ court. _ Which Andrew admits is fair as he  _ completely legally obtained _ twenty of Kevin’s diamonds and provided minimal compensation. 

Renee is their judge, and Dan is there to help moderate. Kevin makes an admittedly passionate plea that Andrew is a good-for-nothing scammer who deserves to be punished, and then it’s Andrew’s turn to defend himself.

“But you see, Kevin, the signs detailing the specifics of the exchange stated that you will get the coin  _ when the coin is ready for you to have. _ I never specified a time period in which you would get the coin. I am breaking no rules.”

Kevin splutters. “But you gave Matt  _ six!” _

“Yeah, because the coins were ready for him to have. You are not ready for the coins for you to have.”

“That makes no fucking  _ sense _ Andrew!” Kevin yells. Andrew can hear it through the wall. He bangs a fist against it. A bang comes from about foot height.

“Well, you just don’t understand the intricacies of cryptocurrency.” To be fair, Andrew hardly knows anything about crypto either, but Kevin doesn’t need to know that. Twitter has compared Andrew to a faerie many times, giving answers that aren’t technically true but aren’t lies either. Andrew would just say Neil’s slippery personality is rubbing off on him. 

Neil walks up next to Andrew. “Also, bring up, mister Kevin Day, one regulation about ICOs that determines whether or not you can do exit scams,” He says with the air of someone looking at the Google results for the legality of cryptocurrency scams. “You dumb motherfucker, why would you pay money to an ICO? When you know,  _ very well, _ that there are no regulations on the crypto market! You got scammed, but there’s nothing illegal about it, you fucking imbecile!”

Andrew turns on the shitty mic and starts to  _ cackle. _ “You got scammed,  _ bitch!” _

Renee hits her table and shuts up the entire call. “Order in the court, please. Now, I believe it is time to look to the jury for a verdict. Can everyone except Andrew and Kevin poll their chats to see who’s innocent and we’ll just go from there?”

After a quick poll, Renee checks the results. “The determination is that according to the unbiased opinion of all of our chats barring the defendant and plaintiff, Andrew is considered guilty in this situation. I have decided that Andrew should have to pay back twenty diamonds to Kevin. However, if Andrew feels like he would like to challenge this ruling, he will be allowed to challenge with a trial of strength in which-” Andrew equips  _ gun >:) _ and crits out Kevin, killing him and picking up his diamonds. 

“I rest my case. Goodnight, esteemed guests,” he says and disconnects from the server. He’s still in the call, though.

“What the  _ fuck?” _ Kevin yells. Andrew leaves that call too. 

“Okay, stream’s over for tonight. Go raid Kevin and tell him that he’s a fucking loser. See you on Wednesday, maybe. Bye.” He ends the stream and leans back in his chair, popping his spine. 

Maybe there’s an issue with the whole “working from home” thing, because Andrew can unfold himself from his chair and flop straight into bed. Which he does. Neil comes in a few minutes later and pulls a blanket over him, and then slides under the covers. Andrew curls himself around Neil, wrapping an arm around his waist, and allows himself to sink and drift off. Both of them get tired and a little bit irritable post-stream, when they finally don’t have to provide entertainment, so they nap together for a bit before taking on the world. It’s a pretty foolproof system. Only took three weeks of being on edge in the same room and snapping at anyone who offered them anything to figure out that  _ hey, maybe napping is a good idea. _

Andrew wakes up about a half-hour later with his face mashed into Neil’s shoulder. He’s playing something on his phone. Andrew can’t see, on account of Neil’s sweatshirt taking up his entire face. He shifts, and Neil rolls over. “Hi.”

“Mmph,” Andrew replies, grabbing his phone. “Did you sleep.” Neil admitted, once, that he prefers it when Andrew turns off his stream and stops being over-the-top, chills out, and lets himself go monotone. Expressions are a lot of work, especially after streaming and keeping the energy up for hours on end. So he’s stopped with the facade. 

“Yeah,” Neil says, “but you seemed comfy. You didn’t sleep much last night, I wanted to give you a chance.”

Andrew hums again and checks his phone. Kevin has texted him in the group chat with Neil.  _ I Hate You Both So Fucking Much, _ he writes. Andrew writes out his own response.  _ i guess recording tomorrow is off then. sick.  _

Neil huffs as Andrew sends the text. “You’re such a shit, you know that right?”

Andrew pokes his side. “You are too.”

“Yeah, but me saying that doesn’t deny that I am  _ also _ a shit to Kevin.” 

“Fair.”

Neil’s phone buzzes with another text.  _ Nonono… can we still record…  _ Kevin sends. Neil texts back an affirmative and a direction for Kevin to leave them alone for a bit. Andrew’s still in his lull. So, Neil pulls up a game on his phone, Andrew wraps an arm around his waist and dozes off again. 

\---

On Wednesday, Andrew is streaming again. Neil’s in his lap, offering commentary and generally just getting in the way as Andrew renovates his castle. He’s walking down a path to get to their nether highway to a mountain biome to get  _ even more fucking stone, _ and Kevin joins the voice channel that he and Aaron have been in, both of them staying on mute. 

“Andrew.”

He unmutes himself. “What.”

“Come to my house.”

“One second.” 

When he’s standing outside, Kevin comes out to meet him. There is a rule that has been imposed that Andrew is not allowed, under any circumstances, to enter Kevin’s house. He’s fucked with it too many times. “What did you want.”

“I want my fucking diamonds back,” Kevin huffs, punching the air in front of him. 

Aaron runs by, holding wheat from their farm. “And I want a man to hold me at night, Kev. We can’t always get what we want.”

Andrew gestures in Aaron’s direction. “What he said.” And he mutes his mic. 

On Discord, he can see that Aaron is also muted. “What the  _ fuck?” _ Kevin says. “Aaron, we sleep in the same fucking bed, you  _ asshole.” _

Aaron types a smiley face in the chat so that all of their viewers can see how much of a shit he is.

Neil snorts, fingers tangled in the strings of Andrew’s hoodie. “There you have it, folks, Minyard and Minyard, experts in making Kevin pop a blood vessel.” 

“No one asked you,” Andrew mutters, and Neil presses a silent kiss into his jaw. “Okay,  _ maybe _ chat asked for your opinion. Once.” Neil hums. “And you never stopped giving it.”

“And look where it’s gotten me.” Andrew pinches Neil’s side. “Oh, by the way, you’re headed towards the jungle biome, not the mountains.”

Andrew turns his boat around. “Did Matt swap the signs again?”

“Yeah.”

_ “Motherfucker.” _

Neil lets out a snort and buries himself further in Andrew’s lap. 

**Author's Note:**

> hm that was fun and interesting and incredibly cool and sexy you should totally leave kudos and maybe a comment because im so funny and cool and they boost my ego like a MOTHERFUCKER  
> have a lovely day/night/whatever mwah


End file.
